Respect in construction - why it's important

Does your team respect you

Image courtesy of khunaspix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A couple of years back I watched a reality TV program with teams renovating different apartments. One of the teams was an older couple, while the other teams were probably the age of their children. Now the older couple expected the younger teams to show them deference and respect because of their age. Yet the younger teams weren’t prepared to show deference to the older team. There were no favours granted because of age. In fact, the opposite occurred and because the older team demanded favours and respect they didn’t get either and often conflict occurred with the younger teams. The teams that treated other teams as equals got along together and were more likely to accommodate and help each other.

Now I frequently see similar situations where people expect others to respect them simply because they are older, more educated, richer, or, because they have a particular rank or title. Particularly in construction we see conflict when a younger person is the construction project manager and they have older, more experienced construction supervisors or foremen on the project. The construction project manager sees themselves as the boss, while some construction supervisors think they are God because they have years of construction experience, they are older, and have performed similar construction work, often the same way, for many years (sometimes even starting on the tools before the manager was even out of nappies). Do the two sides respect each other? No! Is it a recipe for conflict on the project? Yes! Will it impact the construction project? Undoubtedly!
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However, as a young construction manager I often managed projects where my supervisors were much older than me – on occasion even being double my age. Were these projects a success? Yes. Did we respect each other? Yes – I always respected my construction supervisors and foremen, they did the hard work, they had the knowledge and experience and I depended on them, but, I had to earn the respect of my supervisors and foremen. They taught me. I was prepared to listen to them. But, when I thought I was right, I was ready to explain why my construction method was better than the one they were proposing. Even with the toughest and most experienced construction foreman I could persuade them to do things my way if I had to. We were a team.

What is respect?

​People often confuse respect with being liked. Sometimes managers think that by being friends with their team this will earn them respect. They think that being ‘Mr Nice Guy’, or being liked, equates to respect. In fact, often the opposite occurs and managers who are friends with everyone and who are nice to their team are in fact despised behind their backs and not respected by the same people. Managers who regularly socialise and drink with some in their team, or don’t enforce discipline, usually aren’t respected, even though they may be liked as a drinking buddy.

We also mustn’t confuse being friends with being friendly. Being friendly means being of a pleasant demeanour and greeting other people. We can be friendly towards someone even if we don’t like them.

In my 30 year construction career I know I wasn’t always liked, and I made very few friends in the industry – however, I do know that I was respected by the people I worked with, including general workers, tradespeople, construction supervisors, engineers, construction managers, my immediate managers, my customers and their teams, subcontractors and suppliers.  In fact it never ceases to amaze me who miss me the most, or ask after my wellbeing – it’s often some of the people that I argued the most with.

Vocabulary.com defines respect as; ‘Respect is a way of treating or thinking about something or someone. If you respect your teacher, you admire her and treat her well.’ If we look further they make the following definitions; ‘To respect someone’s judgement means that you value their judgement’, and ‘to show respect towards someone means you abide by or honour and observe’.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines respect as ‘admiration felt or shown for someone or something that you believe has good ideas or qualities: “I have great/the greatest respect for his ideas, although I don't agree with them”. “She is a formidable figure who commands a great deal of respect” (= who is greatly admired by others).’

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines respect as; ‘a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.: a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way’.

So why is it important for your team, your manager, or your customer and their team to respect you? Well the essence comes from the above, that people who respect you will be more inclined to listen to, and value your judgement. They will be more likely to treat you well. They will be more likely to follow you.
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Many parents say to their kids “you must do this because I say so” or “I’m your father and you should respect me” or “your father knows best”. Unfortunately what often follows is an argument, or, sometimes even outright defiance and disobedience. Now in most cases children should respect their parents, but they also need to be independent thinkers and shouldn’t just be following an instruction because it was given to them by a parent. Respect usually has to be earned by parents as well as those in authority. 

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How do we earn respect?

​Maybe we should rather ask, do you respect someone if they don’t respect you. Or, do you respect somebody if they lie, shout, are lazy, show poor judgement, behave badly or don’t have knowledge? Probably not! Respect is earned by:

1. Showing respect to the other person. Respect is mutual. Respect includes respecting talents and abilities, and not discriminating against somebody because of their colour, race, religion, language, social backgrounds or sex.
2. Not lying.
3. Admitting when you are wrong or have made a mistake.
4. Not abusing your position or other people.
5. Working hard.
6. Demonstrating your good judgement and knowledge.
7. Taking the time to listen to other’s concerns and explaining why their concerns are unfounded.
8. Not making arguments personal or holding grudges.
9. Being consistent but fair. What applies to one person should apply to everyone today and next week.
10. Having people’s backs, supporting them, and standing up for them when they’re right and in difficult situations.
11. Getting the job done safely, on schedule and to the required quality.
12. Acting professionally, even in the face of adversity or crisis, and not letting your emotions take control.

Respect isn’t earned because of age or rank. 

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Conclusion – why respect is important
in construction

Now there’s no doubt that people in management, those of a senior rank, and parents can rule by command. They can order others to do as they’re told. But often those following the instruction do so reluctantly, sometimes there’s open resistance, or more sinister covert defiance, and when there’s opportunity they slack off. But, we need more than people just following orders, we need their continued support and commitment.

Having the respect of those working with you makes it much easier to work as a team. It creates a loyal harmonious team that has your back, that you can rely on, that won’t let you down. They’ll be prepared to go that little bit further, do a little extra.

Mutual respect also means that people are prepared to speak out. Even if you don’t agree with their opinions you are prepared to listen and present a counterargument. People aren’t expected to blindly follow instructions. It often results in better outcomes and decisions.
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There will always be clashes of opinion and arguments. But, people that respect each other will resolve these issues amicably, they’ll work together, cooperate, giving their best, and the construction project will be a success.
Does your team respect you?
Do you respect your managers?
What does respect mean to you?  

This article is adapted from the author's new book 'The Successful Construction Supervisor and Foreman'. 
Other books by the author include: 
 'Successful Construction Project Management: The Practical Guide' and 'Building a Successful Construction Company: The Practical Guide' and 'Construction Project Management: Tips and Insights'
'Construction Claims: A Short Guide for Contractors' is another of Paul's useful books.
Paul has recently published 'Construction Management: From Project Concept to completion'.
and: 'Build and Renovate Your Home With Your Eyes Wide Open' is for those with little construction experience who want to build or renovate a house. It's filled with tips and suggestions to help you on your way, ensuring you avoid the pitfalls of home construction projects.
These books are available on Amazon and other online book stores.
Paul publishes articles regularly on LinkedIn and his website. 
Paul writes regular articles for other websites, gives lectures, mentors, and is available for podcasts and interviews.
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​© 2019 This article is not to be reproduced for commercial purposes without written permission from the author.

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